SERMON TITLE: Genuine Love
SCRIPTURE: Romans 12:9-13 (ESV)
SPEAKER: Josh Hanson
DATE: 5-11-25
Sermon Discussion Guide
Takes notes here
As always it’s a joy to be with all of you this weekend at Gateway Church. And there’s one thing I want you to know — and this is true if you’re worshiping with us for the first time — if you’re joining us at our North Main Campus or are with our friends in Bucyrus — I want you to know that God loves you and that I love you too.
And — Happy Mother’s Day — especially to my mom — who’s joining us online from Florida — and to my wife — Emily.
We’re continuing our series in Romans this weekend. To everyone’s delight — we’re moving on from verses four through eight which we looked at for nine — count ‘em — nine sermons! And — today — we’ll begin a ten week series on verse nine. Totally kidding.
But we will begin in verse nine of Romans chapter twelve. So if you have your Bible — please turn with me to Romans chapter twelve.
While you’re finding Romans chapter twelve — next week we’ll have our friend and ministry partner Mike Kuhn back with us. Mike spoke at Gateway back in 2019 — and it’ll be good to have him with us next weekend. Then — the weekend after Mike’s with us — Ed Grable — our North Main Campus Pastor — will be preaching as part of our Westminster Shorter Catechism series. And now you know what’s coming up over the next two weeks.
So with that — here are the words in Romans chapter twelve — beginning in verse nine.
Romans 12:9–13 ESV
9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
It’s been awhile — so let me remind all of us what Paul’s doing in this section of Romans. Romans chapter twelve is the pivotal point in Paul’s letter. After eleven chapters of rich theology — explaining to us who God is, who we are, what sin has done to us and God’s creation, and God’s plan to right the wrong we’ve caused — after eleven chapters of rich theology — Paul turns to the “so what” question.
Imagine — after three hundred and fifteen verses — having explained the gospel, faith, sin, salvation, and so on — imagine someone in the back of the room yelling, “Hey Paul, so what?” Or “What now?” Or “Why does any of this matter?” Or “What’s your point?”
This is what Paul turns to in chapter twelve — he’s telling us why our theology matters. He’s showing us how — what we believe — changes the way we live.
You may remember me showing you how — in the first eleven chapters — there was very little for us to do — few commands for us to obey. In fact — there are only seven commands in the first eleven chapters.
But things take a significant turn in chapter twelve. Now there’s lots for us to do. Many commands for us to obey. Commands that must not be taken out of the context of the rest of the letter — for these commands are to be obeyed because of the theology found in the first eleven chapters.
To say this another way — what we do is to be based on what we believe. Truth be told — we can’t help but live this way. What we believe influences what we do. Which means: what we believe really, really matters — because — not everything we believe is true.
For example, one of the lies we so easily believe is, “If I do this, God will love me.” And that’s not only not true — that’s not biblical Christianity — though it has all of the same elements as biblical Christianity. “If I do this, God will love me” is not biblical Christianity — instead — biblical Christianity is, “God loves me, so now I do this.” And the “this” can be the same thing.
Which means — all that Paul now tells us to do — can be done for all the wrong reasons. Especially if we forget why he’s telling us to do all that he commands. For he’s told us why — back in verse one of our chapter — when he writes…
Romans 12:1 ESV
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Paul’s appeal to us — to obey the directives he’s about to give — is based on the mercy of God that he’s described in the first eleven chapters. That — in response to all that Paul’s taught us about God, ourselves, sin, salvation, and the hope offered to us in Jesus Christ — we’re to live differently.
So — I beg you — please don’t separate all that we’re about to hear — commands we’re to obey — ways we’re to live differently — don’t separate them from the truths we’ve already encountered. For what you believe will affect what you do. And — if you don’t believe what Paul’s written in the first eleven chapters — obeying his commands will be based on something else you believe — which is not Paul’s intent. For his purpose in writing this letter is that you will live differently — and will do so because you believe the gospel — the news of what Jesus has accomplished for you in his life, death, and resurrection.
So let’s look at one way that believing the gospel changes a person. Let’s return to verse nine. There Paul writes…
Romans 12:9 ESV
9a Let love be genuine.
Everything that follows — in our verses — is an expansion of — a detailed explanation of — what Paul means when he says: Let love be genuine.
One of the issues we face right away — is how we all have our own definition of what it means to be loving — and — for that love to be genuine — genuine here means “sincere, real, without hypocrisy” — the word we’d use today is “authentic.”
Something similar can happen with Jesus’ words when he was once asked, “What’s the greatest commandment?” Jesus replied with…
Matthew 22:37–39 ESV
37 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Then we each go on to define what it means to love our neighbor as ourselves in a million different ways instead of allowing Jesus to define for us what it means to love our neighbors — and — to love God. I think that most of us would raise our hand if I asked if you thought you were a pretty loving person. Who wants to admit to not being a loving person, right? But we often evaluate ourselves against our own definition of what it means to be a loving person — or kind or generous or good or — fill in the blank.
Yet — here at Gateway — we’re followers of Jesus who strive to be both Word and Spirit Christians. Which means that the Word of God — the Bible — is our final authority on all matters — including what it means to love our neighbors as ourselves or — back to Paul — to let our love be genuine. We don’t impose on Paul our definition of what it means for our love to be genuine — he — being inspired by the Holy Spirit — defines for us what it means for our love to be genuine.
So — with that being said — and as we allow Paul to define for us what it means for our love to be genuine — here are the twelve characteristics he lists of genuine love. That’s right — twelve markers of genuine love. Twelve opportunities to evaluate how you’re doing at practicing authentic love because of what you believe. Some of these you may be doing well — others not so much — none of us have reached perfection. But the person who believes in Jesus won’t settle for a love that’s anything less than genuine. So let’s discover what genuine love is like.
First — love that is genuine…
Romans 12:9 ESV
9b Abhor(s) what is evil,
Abhor isn’t a word we use often these days — and this is the only use of the Greek word translated as abhor in the New Testament — though its equivalents in Hebrew are used much more regularly.
Psalm 97:10 ESV
10 O you who love the Lord, hate evil!
Psalm 119:104 ESV
104 Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way.
Psalm 119:163 ESV
163 I hate and abhor falsehood, but I love your law.
Proverbs 8:13 ESV
13 The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.
Proverbs 13:5 ESV
5 The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
Proverbs 28:16 ESV
16 A ruler who lacks understanding is a cruel oppressor, but he who hates unjust gain will prolong his days.
And — though a different Greek word — about Jesus the author of Hebrews writes…
Hebrews 1:9 ESV
9 You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.”
If it wasn’t clear — the word abhor means to hate — and I mean — really hate. To strongly hate — to violently hate. But what are we to abhor? All that is evil.
Similar to the question I asked you about love — who defines for you what is evil? Because — if we’re told here that — for our love to be genuine — we must abhor what’s evil — our definition of evil is very important. And — old repeated news here — for the follower of Jesus — God’s Word defines for us what is evil. Not CNN or Fox News. Not our feelings or personal opinions — for we’re not our final authority — God is. And he’s told us what is evil. So how does God define evil?
Evil — as described in the Bible — includes “the presence or manifestation of moral or spiritual corruption, wickedness, or malevolence in opposition to God’s will and the principles of goodness, righteousness, and holiness.” (Logos Factbook)
Biblical examples of evil include — and we don’t have time to list them all…
And we’re to hate all that is evil — because — and this is the second characteristic of genuine love — we’re to…
Romans 12:9 ESV
9 hold fast to what is good.
And — just like love and evil — God defines for us what is good. And — it’s to this God defined good that we’re to hold fast to — cling to — the idea here is of being glued or welded to.
Now — the somewhat easy part for us — when we allow God’s Word to define for us good and evil — is that we can take the short list of evil — that I just rattled off — and create an opposite list for what is good — that we’re to hold fast to.
God did not leave us to chaos — where each of us is meant to determine for ourselves what’s evil and what’s good. He’s graciously told us what is evil and what is good so that our love can be genuine. This isn’t a mystery — God’s made it clear. The question for us is this: What do we really believe? For what we believe is determining how we live.
Do you agree with God’s definition of good and evil? Is God’s Word the final authority in your life? If so, I’m sure there’s something God’s defined as evil that you’ve yet to reject to the degree that you need to. And there’s something good you don’t love as much as you can. How does God want to help you — even right now — to love more genuinely by turning from some form of evil and towards a more biblical definition of what is good?
Two characteristics of love down — ten to go. We’re gonna need to pick up our pace. Paul continues defining genuine love with…
Romans 12:10 ESV
10 Love one another with brotherly affection.
Here we’re told to love each other with brotherly affection — with philadelphia — which is why it’s the city of brotherly love. Think of this as family affection towards one another. As you may know — our desire is to be a family around here — thus — our love for one another should be family-like. Similar to what Paul describes in another of his letters when he writes…
1 Timothy 5:1–2 NLT
1 Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. 2 Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.
Or as the apostle Peter tells us…
2 Peter 1:5–10 ESV
5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.
When faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness and — yes — brotherly affection and love are our family characteristics — we’ll be closer to reaching our full maturity in Christ as a church.
How are you helping us to be a godly family around here? How are you loving others with a family affection?
Next Paul tells us that genuine love includes…
Romans 12:10 ESV
10 Outdo(ing) one another in showing honor.
To show honor is to hold someone in high regard — to consider them of high value. This is what Paul reminds us is Christ’s view of us when he writes — in one of his other letters…
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 ESV
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
The word “price” — in “you were bought with a price” — is meant to demonstrate the value — the honor — the high regard Christ has for us. For the price he paid was high — infinitely high — his perfect life. And — if this is the value he has for people — why would we allow our honor to be any less? After all, we’re told…
Philippians 2:3 ESV
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
And we’re to do so because we remember all that Christ has first done for us — including the honor he’s given us.
Continuing in his definition of genuine love — Paul writes…
Romans 12:11 ESV
11 Do not be slothful in zeal,
You may remember that Paul recently used the word zeal — back in verse eight — when he says that those with the spiritual gift of leadership are to lead with zeal. To lead with zeal means to be eager, quick, and diligent in your leading. But now he tells us that genuine love means we’re to not be slothful in zeal.
Slothful is an interesting word — but first — you need to get the cute animal out of your mind. In our verse Paul’s wanting us to think along the lines of “lazy, idle, or reluctant.” Jesus used this same word once in a parable — one of his short stories meant to teach a moral lesson — and it’s used in quite the warning!
In speaking about the Last Day — the day he’ll return to earth — Jesus said…
Matthew 25:14–30 ESV
14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
The slothful servant is the one who wasn’t diligent in his responsibilities — who didn’t take seriously the work he was to do for his master — who wasn’t zealous and quick to fulfill his duty for his master. And the consequence for his slothfulness was being cast into the outer darkness — the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth — eternal torment.
Now remember — this is a parable — a short story meant to teach a moral lesson. A lesson about what? Jesus’ return. Will he find you being a faithful servant or a slothful one when he returns?
Connecting this back to Romans — the faithful servants are those who practice genuine love — which Paul continues to describe with…
Romans 12:11 ESV
11 be fervent in spirit,
The word “fervent” means to “be enthusiastic, to be excited, to boil, to seethe, or to be hot” and we’re to be fervent in spirit. Now — for a few reasons — including that Paul just mentioned gifts of the Spirit and that Jesus — our Lord — is mentioned with the next characteristic — I believe this enthusiastic, excitement, hot love is about us not quenching the Spirit in our lives. As Paul said back in chapter eight of our letter…
Romans 8:5–6 ESV
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
And…
Romans 8:13–14 ESV
13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
And…
Romans 8:26–27 ESV
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
Meaning — our love for God and each other — is to be a supernaturally empowered love because we’ve passionately set our minds on the things of the Spirit, and with red hot intensity we put to death the deeds of the body by the Spirit, and we boil over in our prayers knowing that the Spirit of God intercedes on our behalf. For this kind of Holy Spirit empowered life loves differently.
And this kind of love means we…
Romans 12:11 ESV
11 serve the Lord.
Since we spent nine sermons looking at a variety of ways the Spirit of God empowers us with spiritual gifts that are to be used to make Jesus look glorious as we serve — we won’t spend any more time on this characteristic of love.
Another characteristic of love — according to Paul — is that — in response to what we believe — we…
Romans 12:12 ESV
12 Rejoice in hope,
This appears to be a shortened version of something Paul wrote earlier in Romans…
Romans 5:2–5 ESV
2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Which — since suffering is mentioned — Paul tells us also that — to love — means to…
Romans 12:12 ESV
12 be patient in tribulation,
Again — we’re dissecting what genuine love is according to God — a genuine love for God — which leads us to love others — includes having a hope that’s based on knowing that God is doing all things for his glory. That — when the end comes — God will look glorious. Sin won’t. Death won’t. The people we glorify today won’t. God will be glorified forever and ever. Which — being our hope — is our reason to rejoice. Why? Because God wins — we win.
And this hope endures all things. Including suffering in this world — or tribulations — as Paul describes it. A word Paul uses twenty-four times in his letters. A word Jesus uses when he says things like this about the last days…
Matthew 24:7–9 ESV
7 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are but the beginning of the birth pains. 9 “Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake.
And — later about the last days — he says…
Matthew 24:21–22 ESV
21 For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be. 22 And if those days had not been cut short, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect those days will be cut short.
And then — about the end of the end — Jesus said…
Matthew 24:29–31 ESV
29 “Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 30 Then will appear in heaven the sign of the Son of Man, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 And he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.
Therefore — regardless of the kind of suffering we face — or what tribulation we find ourselves in — we must be patient — or as the word is often translated — we must endure. Did you know that enduring tribulation and suffering is a sign of the genuineness of your love for God and others? According to God it is.
Which is why to practice genuine love we must also…
Romans 12:12 ESV
12 be constant in prayer.
A sign of genuine love is a constant prayer life. The opposite of a constant prayer life is a “random, occasional, sporadic” prayer life according to one commentary on this verse. Just as genuine love for another person displays itself in regular, constant communication — so does our genuine love for God — it will display itself in regular, constant prayer.
Genuine love also means we…
Romans 12:13 ESV
13 Contribute to the needs of the saints
Did you know that your financial giving to the saints — the people of God gathered in a local church — is a sign if your love is genuine or not? Now — to be sure — someone can financially give and do so for all kinds of wrong reasons — go back and listen to my sermon on the gift of giving where I address this — but for us — here in this verse — what Paul’s saying is that we can’t claim to be someone who practices genuine love if we don’t financially give to the needs of the saints — at least we can’t do so with any sort of integrity.
Jesus — after all — did say…
Matthew 6:24 ESV
24 “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.
What does your financial giving and generosity to the church say about the genuineness of your love?
Finally — genuine love means that we will…
Romans 12:13 ESV
13 and seek to show hospitality.
Hospitality has taken on a definition today that’s synonymous with fellowship. Biblically — though — the word hospitality also means showing “kindness to a stranger.” We know this because of how the word is used in the book of Hebrews — where we read…
Hebrews 13:2 ESV
2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Just a reminder that demonstrating genuine love includes showing hospitality to people we’re close to and even to people we don’t know that well.
So there’s Paul’s lengthy detailed definition of what genuine love is. A definition that I don’t think it’s possible to walk away from and say, “Nailed it!” We all have room to grow in our loving genuinely. Which means we all have room to grow in understanding what it means to first be loved by God. Because — remember — the genuine love that Paul wants us to practice is a response to what we believe about God’s love for us.
For when we believe in God’s love for us — we begin to practice genuine love. And — when we have moments like this — where we see what it means to love genuinely — we realize there’s more of God’s love for us to grasp, and believe, and cling tightly to — so we go back to his Word and his promises to us. And — in response — we love with a more genuine love than before. And then we go back to God’s Word and his truths and promises and glorious love for us and — in response — love even more genuinely. And so on and so forth until Jesus returns or calls us home. But until that day — dear friends — grow in knowing and believing and receiving God’s love for you. For — as you do — your love will grow to new heights and depth and width in being genuine love as defined by God. Let’s pray.
Loving Father, thank you for loving us with a love that’s genuine. All that we’ve read about genuine love today is the love we first experienced in being loved by you.
Holy Spirit, increase our understanding of what it means to be loved with your never-ending, always pursuing, infinite and glorious love for us.
A love displayed most fully and vividly on the cross where you — Jesus — gave your life in love for us.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — draw many to believe in your love for them right now. And may all of us — who have received your love — be spurred on to let our love be more and more genuine. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
May you go practicing genuine love for each other in response to God’s love for you. Amen.
God loves you. I love you. You are sent.
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