SERMON TITLE: How to Disagree Part 2
SCRIPTURE: Romans 14:13-23 (ESV)
SPEAKER: Josh Hanson
DATE: 9-28-25
Sermon Discussion Guide
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As always it’s a joy to be with all of you this weekend at Gateway Church. And there’s one thing I want you to know — and this is true if you’re worshiping with us for the first time — if you’re joining us at our North Main Campus or are with our friends in Bucyrus — I want you to know that God loves you and that I love you too.
We’re continuing our series in Romans this weekend. And we’re in the practical application section of Paul’s letter where — after eleven chapters of rich theological truths — Paul gets to the so what beginning in chapter twelve. Meaning he addresses how all of the theology that’s found in the first eleven chapters is to play itself out in how we live. Or — at least — how it should influence the way we live.
And — today — we’re continuing our mini-series — as Paul continues to address the same topic we looked at last time we were together. What topic is that? How to disagree.
Now — if you weren’t with us last time — you should know that in starting his discussion on how to disagree — Paul began with something that’s quite controversial for the times in which we live. He says that part of the reason why we have disagreements with each other is because — and this is the controversial part — some of us are weak and some of us are strong. And what he means by this controversial statement is that some of us are weak and strong when it comes to our understanding of the Christian faith — what we believe and how it applies to life — which tells us that Paul is focusing on disagreements among Christians — though there are many ways to apply what he teaches to all of our disagreements.
And Paul’s focus — in our verses — is on disagreements over non-essential matters. This isn’t about disagreements on essentials of the faith — doctrines like faith alone in Christ alone for salvation — this is about disagreements over non-essential matters. For example — the Christians in Rome apparently disagreed over what foods were acceptable to eat as followers of Jesus. Some held a belief that you couldn’t eat certain foods and be faithful. Their belief — obviously — resulted in how they behaved. And their beliefs and behaviors caused division in the church even though this was a non-essential matter.
Yet — and this is important for us to hear and recognize — non-essential doesn’t mean non-important. Many non-essential beliefs and practices are very important — they’re just not essential in determining whether or not someone is a Christian.
Non-essential also doesn’t mean that we believe in subjectivism — that what’s true for you is true for you, but for me this other thing is true. It just means that — in our fallibility and human limitations — we haven’t come to unity on what the Bible teaches on the topic and believe that both sides are trying to be faithful to God and what he’s said in the Bible. That last sentence is important — so I’ll repeat it: In our fallibility and human limitations — we haven’t come to unity on what the Bible teaches on a topic and believe that both sides are trying to be faithful to God and what he’s said in the Bible.
So with that as a guide as to where we’ve been — if you have your Bible — please turn with me to Romans chapter fourteen. We’ll be in Romans chapter fourteen today — looking at verses one through twenty-three. Here’s what Paul says in his discussion on how to disagree. Beginning in verse one writes…
Romans 14:1–23 ESV
1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. 10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” 12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
Here’s the big idea — the main takeaway — for us today: When we disagree, we’re to pursue peace with each other as we grow in our faith together. When we disagree — and the “we” refers to fellow Christians — when we disagree — we’re to pursue peace with each other as we grow in our faith together. And our big idea leads to an important question: How do we pursue peace and grow in our faith together?
Paul’s going to tell us some things that we’re not to do — then he’ll tell us some things we are to do. And — again — what we do and don’t do both have the same goal: to pursue peace and grow in our faith together when we disagree on something non-essential.
Let’s begin by looking at what we’re not to do when we find ourselves in a disagreement with one another over a non-essential issue.
Here’s what Paul says in verse three.
Romans 14:3–4 ESV
3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
A few verses later he asks…
Romans 14:10 ESV
10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God;
And in verse thirteen Paul writes…
Romans 14:13–15 ESV
13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.
As followers of Jesus — when we disagree — what are we not to do? We’re not to despise one another nor are we to pass judgment on one another. Don’t despise and don’t pass judgment.
You see, the temptation of the strong is to despise the weak for their lack of spiritual growth and immaturity — the strong are tempted to be impatient with the weak — to look down on the weak.
The temptation of the weak is to pass judgment on the strong — believing that the strong are loose with their theology, unprincipled in their practices, and dishonoring God by their behavior.
Don’t despise and don’t pass judgment — what we’re not to do.
Up to this point — I haven’t asked any self-reflective questions — so here’s the first one: Which of these temptations do you find yourself struggling with most? Do you find yourself more often despising other Christians — because of what they believe or how they behave — being impatient with others — or do you find yourself more often passing judgment on others — being suspicious of their theology or behavior?
This isn’t a sure fire way to know with certainty whether you’re weak or strong, but it’s still a helpful question to ponder. For when we remember that — the reason we’re not to despise or pass judgment — is because a disagreement has occurred — we begin to see the complexity of the situation. For — once again — though these disagreements are over non-essential matters — that doesn’t make the matter unimportant.
So when we discuss our differences and disagreements on non-essential issues — instead of despising and passing judgment — we’re to discuss our differences with our Bibles open. As we like to say — we’re striving to be “Word and Spirit Christians” here at Gateway. Which means we want our differences to be discussed with God’s Word opened — because — submitting to God’s Word on all things is something we all agree is an essential!
And instead of despising and passing judgment on each other — we’re to pursue peace and grow in our faith together. And how do we do this? With our Bible’s open and by living according to love — that’s what Paul tells us. For when we live according to love — not only will we not despise or pass judgment on each other — we’ll refuse to do anything that will cause each other to stumble in the faith.
As I mentioned earlier — the topic of division — for the Christians in Rome — was over what food Christians were allowed to eat — a non-essential matter. And Paul is clear that he believes there is a right side of the argument to be on: No food is unclean. Meaning — Christians are free to eat whatever they want.
Yet — and this ties directly to how we walk in love with each other — those who are on Paul’s side of the argument — even though they’re biblically correct in believing they can eat whatever they want — they’re not walking in love if they allow their freedom to be a stumbling block — or hindrance — or means by which they grieve a fellow Christian. For — to use their freedom in this way — is to not walk in love. Or — as Jesus famously said — they’re not loving their neighbor as themselves.
And this stance that Paul takes — that those who are strong — even when they have biblical justification for their behavior — are to set aside their freedom out of love for their fellow Christian — runs counter to everything the world in which we live teaches us. Where the world tells us to be true to yourself — Paul tells us to submit to the conscience of the weak in regards to these non-essential matters. Why? Because — as the strong ones — you’re obligated to sacrifice your freedom for the sake of those whose consciences are bound to obey what they believe is the will of God.
To eat meat was of secondary importance for the strong Christians who were part of the church in Rome. But for the weak Christians — though it should’ve been a non-essential — it wasn’t. Yet Paul says the obligation is on the strong to give up their freedom in order to not cause the weaker Christians to stumble.
And this leads us to another self-reflective test: For — if you refuse to sacrifice your freedom for the sake of others — on a non-essential matter — this may reveal to you that you’re not as strong as you think you are. And — perhaps — are the weaker Christian in the disagreement.
Last time I read our Essentials of the Faith and had all of our Gateway members reaffirm their commitment to the essentials. I wonder what’s something not listed as an essential that you believe everyone else at Gateway must believe or do? And I wonder if you’re so committed to that non-essential belief or behavior that you’re willing to cause others to stumble — instead of giving up your freedom by loving your fellow Christian?
Again — counter to everything we want to believe. But as one Bible scholar states…
Paul’s advice to the strong is simple: when the exercise of your legitimate liberty [encourages] the weak to violate their conscience, you must, in love, defer to their interests and refrain from what would otherwise be permissible for you to do. Paul’s appeal to the death of Christ is powerful. Since Christ was willing to lay down his very life for your salvation, how can you possibly refuse to forgo a comparatively insignificant liberty for the sake of your fellow believer? It is the contrast between, on the one hand, the extreme and glorious sacrifice that Jesus made in dying for the weak person and, on the other hand, the strong believer’s selfish insistence on exercising their freedom regardless of the spiritual interests of the weak brother or sister. (Sam Storms)
Which leads us to another way to test the maturity level of our faith. But before we get to this second test — let’s return to Paul’s words.
Romans 14:1 ESV
1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.
And why do we welcome the weak — even when their weakness is a potential cause for division? Because…
Romans 14:3 ESV
3 God has welcomed him.
Remembering that — whether weak or strong…
Romans 14:4 ESV
4 he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
And God upholds and makes both the weak and strong stand — because — both are Christians. Therefore…
Romans 14:6–9 ESV
6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
Thus both the weak and the strong believe that…
Romans 14:10–12 ESV
10 we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” 12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
And the key to all of this — according to Paul — is that…
Romans 14:5 ESV
5 Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.
Now we just read some amazing, soul-lifting, unity producing truths.
And how are our minds to be fully convinced? By God’s Word.
We looked at this earlier, but let’s ask ourselves some more self-reflective questions: What’s the role of God’s Word in your disagreements with fellow Christians? Is God’s Word even considered? Opened? Explored and studied for what God has to say — and not just a verse or two over here that supports your position — but also the verses over there that support the other position? Do you allow God’s Word to shape what you believe — even regarding non-essential doctrines? And are you reading, studying, and memorizing God’s Word regularly enough so that it shapes what you believe?
And — let me say this — and I do so with a heavy heart — for it’s far more common than it should ever be — but Christians often debate, argue, disagree — and even divide — over non-essential beliefs and behaviors — and do so without ever opening God’s Word. May that never be the case for us — especially with our unified commitment to be people who live under the authority of the Word of God.
Think of your last disagreement with a fellow Christian over a non-essential doctrine or practice: What role did God’s Word have in your disagreement?
Later Paul highlights the importance of submitting to God’s Word, when he states…
Romans 14:16–19 ESV
16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Here Paul says something that — at first — appears to contradict all that I’ve just explained to you. For he says, “Don’t let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.” If you believe eating meat is good — don’t let eating meat be called evil by other Christians. Same with special days of worship — which he mentioned back in verse five — or — the example I closed our last sermon with — infant baptism or child dedication.
Paul’s point here doesn’t invalidate what he’s just said about walking in love. What he’s saying now is that — as you walk in love — by giving up your freedom for the sake of a weaker Christian — don’t let the weaker Christian call your belief evil or blasphemous.
This tells us that it’s good to lovingly defend your position — but as you heard me say a moment ago — do so with your Bible open. Because the desire for any Christian — especially when we find ourselves in a disagreement with a fellow Christian — should be to better know and submit to what God’s Word says on the issue. For the result of this posture among Christians — a posture of submitting to God’s Word — will result in righteousness — meaning right living — and peace between the two parties — and mutual upbuilding — meaning both the weak and the strong Christian will grow in their faith and understanding on the topic.
Which tells us something else that’s important about the Christian faith and how we disagree: Christians are to be more concerned about the spiritual growth of each other than we’re concerned about winning an argument or making a point. Paul says this is what the kingdom of God is all about. Not eating or drinking — or which side of the debate of infant baptism and child dedication you agree with — but the kingdom of God is a matter of peace and joy in the Holy Spirit for both the weak and the strong.
Time for another question for those of us who follow Jesus: When you find yourself in a disagreement with a fellow Christian — what’s your goal? That both you and the other person grow in your faith — that you grow in your peace with each other — that you both grow in your joy in the Holy Spirit? Or that you win the argument? Be honest!
Think of the last disagreement you had with your spouse — if they’re a Christian — a disagreement over something that wasn’t essential to the faith? What was your goal? That you both grow in faith, peace, and joy? Or that he or she knew you were right and they were wrong?
Or the last theological debate you found yourself in with a fellow Life Group member over some non-essential doctrine? What was the win for you?
Or the last time you disagreed with something I did or didn’t say in a sermon?
Be honest — what’s been your goal in situations like this? What should be your goal when you find yourself in a disagreement with a fellow follower of Jesus over a non-essential? According to Paul, the goal of the Christian should be righteousness — right living — peace between you and the other person — and joy in the Holy Spirit for both of you — for this is what it means to live according to the kingdom of God.
Finally — in verse twenty — Paul writes…
Romans 14:20–23 ESV
20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
Again Paul uses the debate over food and drink as his illustration. And — again — he reiterates to the strong not to cause the weak to stumble — even when the weak are incorrect in their views. Yet Paul gives permission to the strong. For when the weak aren’t around — when the situation is just you and God — or even you and other Christians who you know are in agreement with you — feel free to live in the freedom you have in Christ.
Obviously this means we must really know our fellow Christians and what each other believes. And not just on the essentials — but on the non-essentials as well. Knowing what each other believes so that — silent despising or passing judgment doesn’t take place because one individual assumes everyone else agrees with him or her on an issue — while those who disagree don’t speak up — because most of us do our best to avoid conflict.
A final thought on all of this — especially our freedom in Christ — and on what it means to be strong in your faith. The Bible scholar I quoted earlier says this…
Christian liberty (or freedom) is a precious gift, but it does not have to be expressed outwardly to be enjoyed. - Sam Storms
An idea — which again — goes against the cultural air we’re so used to breathing in. For culture tells us that to be free means we have a right to — and must — express our beliefs. But is this what it means to be a strong Christian in the faith? The scholar goes on to write…
Ironically, those who feel the freedom to eat meat and to drink wine can themselves fall into legalism. They can hold to the truth of Christian liberty so tenaciously that they ignore the welfare of their weaker brothers and sisters. They insist at all times and under every circumstance to have the right and freedom to eat and drink whatever they want. In effect, they have become slaves to their own freedom. They are in bondage to their own liberty. If you believe that you must always exercise your freedom, even to disregarding your fellow believer, not only are you not walking in love, but also are enslaved to your own liberty.
And — if you look carefully at the world around you — especially to our nation — you’ll see this slavery to freedom. Many are in bondage to their own freedom. Many believe it’s their right to ignore the conscience and beliefs of others by forcing what they believe on everyone else — no matter the disunity, division, and violence it causes. This enslavement to personal liberty is described in your news feeds and social media accounts — you see and hear about it in the hallways at your work and school. For people everywhere believe that it’s a fundamental right to always exercise their freedom — and even to disregard what anyone else thinks in order to exercise their freedom.
Yet the Christian faith says something different — the opposite in fact. That — to follow your Savior — who gave up his freedom — his life even — in love for you — is now how you’re to live in love towards others — especially your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Not as a slave to your freedom — but as a slave of Christ who uses your freedom to help those who are weak to become strong. For when this is your goal — even when you disagree with others — you will honor the One who gave up his freedom so you could become strong. Let’s pray together.
Heavenly Father, we want to begin by thanking you for the patience and kindness you have towards us. Far too often we think we know what’s the right thing to believe and the right way to act — so we think, “How dare someone disagree with me” — without ever really considering whether or not you agree with us. What an assumption we make — that what we think and do is always what you agree with. But you’re the perfect One — not us. You’re the One who knows all things — not us. You’re the One who always acts righteously — not us.
Holy Spirit, despite our lack of knowledge, our misunderstandings, our ignorance, and our blatant rebellion — you desire — and have promised — unity for us — the people of God. For you live in all who believe in Jesus — and you give us the desire and the strength to know what is true and to act on what is true. Increase our desire to not only know, believe, and live according to the essentials of our faith — but to seek out your truth when it comes to non-essentials — as we patiently and lovingly help others mature in their faith.
For — Jesus — when we do so — we’ll show the world that we’re your followers. For you patiently and lovingly help us mature in our faith. And you desire and have called us to help others in the way that you’ve first helped us. May our unity — even in our disagreements — make you look glorious to the world, nation, and community in which we live. And we pray all of this in your name. Amen.
Because of all that God has done for you — may you go pursuing peace as you help build each other up in the faith. Amen.
God loves you. I love you. You are sent.
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